Monday, August 15, 2011

The battle is not mine, it's the Lords

2 Chronicles 20:15-17(NLT)
15 He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. 16 Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. 17 But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”
24 So when the army of Judah arrived at the lookout point in the wilderness, all they saw were dead bodies lying on the ground as far as they could see. Not a single one of the enemy had escaped.

 Don't fight, stand and watch the victory?  Sometimes of course we must fight...BUT, as discerning Christians we need to be able to seek the Lord for direction on what battles to fight and what battles to stand and watch.  
to maintain one's position <stand firm>,  

a : to endure or undergo successfully 
  b : to tolerate without flinching : bear courageously 
  c : to endure the presence or personality of  
2 to remain firm in the face of 
3 to submit to 
All of these are great and all of these are what I have to do.  There are days harder than others and there are moments where I falter, BUT I keep my eyes on the prize and press toward the mark. (Philippians 3:14)
I am happy to report I have had fewer questions like " Something's wrong isn't it, your mad aren't you, tell me, is something wrong?" , asked of me.  So it is getting easier to stand firm and smile even though the trials tend to get harder the better I do.  But it is not me doing this in my own strength.  The great part is God has been working in my life and growing me to this moment...which is surely growing me for yet another moment in my life.   With all the preparation He has given me I have learned that when I begin to feel overwhelmed or if I miss it and falter, I know to pray and renew my mind in Him who gives me strength.  I am learning when to stand and when to go to battle.  
I must say, the flesh has been whining A LOT.  It wants to scream out "THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!",  so many times.  However, I know where that gets all of us.  God has also given me peace when the thoughts come in, such as " What if I am the only one who grows during this battle?".   Well maybe I am the only one to grow during THIS battle, doesn't mean growth will not occur for others when their hearts are ready to receive.  All that I can control is ME.  I often want to fight battles for God...for ME.  I want to be able to make certain people receive, because it would be good for them and GREAT for me...just doesn't happen that way and my flesh whines.
It is too easy to be like some others, and as I hear people around me my heart has so much compassion for them.  I want to shout for joy and praise God, telling them how to stomp on the devil....but not everyone is ready to hear this.  We all have seasons in our lives and we are all at different points in our walks with God.  To get excited and lay this on the right person at the wrong time could turn ugly.  I have to again be renewed in my mind and get in tune with the Spirit so I know when to speak and when to refrain.  It is not good to hear, people get upset because we are happy and they are sad and it is hard when they presume their own life must be harder than ours because they are a wreck and we are walking tall.  It is a common misunderstanding, when people see our lives on the outside and assume they are a cake walk.  I don't know about everyone else but I surely have had more pain than I ever care to mention.  What we learn as Christians is not to speak the problem, speak the solution.  We do not deny life has trials, we confess we will overcome and be conquerors of all trials that surface.

So Dylan had been doing fairly well, the fits were not as frequent but they were maturing...maturing meaning the snottiness was getting to be the snottiness of an older child and not of a younger child.  We are starting a new week, and the sooner we can get into the new house the sooner I can keep the structure I am trying to instill in his life.  It is hard to stay on task with adding the baby I watch during the day and having less time in the morning to cook breakfast and lunch before Doug is off to work.  I enjoy spending time with my mother and sister, I am just ready to be on my own again.  Being 32 and having two children to pack and move from house to house and back to house each day is not easy on any of us.  It is also hard to remember to get vitamins taken and to bring all of our toiletries with us.  There is an end to this apartment madness and that end is so close I can touch it.

The progress in my own attitude and love walk is going much faster right now than my progress with winning the Aspergers battle, but I believe this is all for good.  If I grow more now before the more complete structure is implemented then I will falter less when we are settled in our new home....HOME ahhhh.  I am so excited to not smell mold/mildew and various other nasty odors.  

Thank you God for peace that surpasses all understanding! Philippians 4:7

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