Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Still going and going and going....

So since the last Blog we had a slight dip in the road, however never a thought of  " Why us?" or " How come this is not working"   Cause we don't have the answer to the first question, and Autism is not given to us from God, yet God will use the attacks of the devil to teach us.  So through  all of this I can say I am surely learning a lot in soooo many ways.  I am learning:

  1. patience
  2. how to live a simpler life
  3. how to save better
  4. how to eat healthier
  5. how to be a good teacher
  6. how to do time management when there seems to be NO time
  7. how to pray in the midst of what seems to be a crisis
  8. how to pray to avoid crisis
  9. that tv is not as important as I once thought it was
  10. cell phones are not as important as I once thought they were
  11. a schedule is needed even when it is not followed step by step each day
  12. breakfast is sooo needed
  13. sleep is over rated and thank God for HIS rest
  14. I can do more than I ever thought possible
  15. I can still volunteer even with 4 children, one car and a hubby that needs said car
  16. thinking about all that is happening to us and struggling with it in my mind and heart is selfish
  17. and on and on

The list is pretty much never ending.  I think some of the greatest things I got from our learning experience is how to encourage when your flesh is screaming DISCOURAGE!!! How to be humble when your flesh is screaming FIGHT BACK!!!  God truly does bless you when you encourage and edify what can be encouraged and edified...even if that is only "Hey, thanks for eating your breakfast.  It makes mommy very happy in her heart to see you eat well!"  Having humility and allowing God to handle all wrongs is so hard but so worth the outcome.  When I fight for myself...I never get to stop fighting for myself.  As in my past, people are often just that...people they are not God, so they will let us down.  No person cares to listen as intently as God listens to me.  God knows my heart and He knows the intent I have on all my actions....even down to me sucking in my gut around women who have smaller waists.  He tells me often to relax and let Him handle my pain, sometimes He teaches me to get over something, sometimes He moves in the offenders life and teaches them and other times since I pray for wisdom and His will almost daily, He will guide me to have words that speak without any offense( this is not as often as my request to remain silent).

Still the hardest part of all of what we go through and have gone through is the sometimes daily forgiveness that is required from me.  I have to forgive what caused Dylan to receive the diagnosis, I have to forgive people who judge us, forgive people who are close to us who still do not understand or think I should medicate Dylan.  I wanted to say this before but now is as good of a time as any.  I do believe God uses Doctors to heal as well....and if there was a proven healing from modern medicine we would seek it, yet there is not.  We do see a Doctor from time to time, such as when Dylan fell on a stick and I was a concerned mother who wanted to be sure he did not have internal bleeding.  A diagnosis of Aspergers is not life threatening and even though Dylan has said he "  I hate myself,  fine I will just kill myself."   The medicine for this type of reaction has a side effect of suicidal tendencies... so why not deal with his natural emotions rather than drugged out ones???

Becoming more out spoken and more silent at the same time...odd combo but one which seems to be paying off.  I let God guide my words and actions.  Daily praying for patience, understanding, strength, wisdom and to get the shoves I need through out the day to stay on track.  Of course my prayers are more in depth but this is the general surface of them.  All Glory to God for the work that is being completed here!

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